"The Three Musketeers" by Alexandre Dumas

This book has a reputation of being one of the most thrilling adventure stories ever! If that is the case I think I will steer clear from some of the other "most thrilling adventure stories ever!" This book was a 300 page story written in 626 pages (remember my thoughts on Jane Austen's Mansfield Park?).

One thing that I love about Alexandre Dumas is his satirical depiction of events and people (not as good as Charles Dickens but pretty close). My favorite part of the entire book takes place within the first few pages. As young d'Artagnan gets ready to go out into the world, his father, d'Artagnan senior, gives him some advice: "Never fear quarrels, and seek out adventures. I have taught you how to handle a sword. You have legs of iron and a wrist of steel. Fight duels on all occasions, the more so because duels are forbidden and consequently it takes twice as much courage to fight them." Maybe I'll give my kids some similar advice when they go away to college: "Never fear fist-fights and seek out frat parties. I have taught you how to handle a handgun (and a spatula). Speed through school zones, the more so because it is against the law and consequently it takes five times as much money to pay the speeding ticket." I think not - I do not want to end up on an episode of Jerry Springer.

I am not going to outline the plot for those of you who may want to read this book - I don't want to give away the predictable ending (one of the evil characters gets it in the end, and the rest of the hypocritical and immoral folks make out all right). Many more scroundrels are killed during the course of the book by our fine fighting duellists who always escape every danger presented them.

The Three Musketeers are Athos, Porthos and Aramis; three French men who are the King's Musketeers under the leadership of M. Treville (their Greek sounding names are obviously pseudonyms). D'Artagnan wishes to be a member of the Musketeers but begins in the ranks of D'Essarts guards to prove his worthiness. He is a youth of 19 or 20 years old, ready for adventure, seeking a mistress or two, and wanting nothing but to amass a fortune and have glory added to his name without having to work too hard (these are the kind of guys that I specifically avoided in college - I suggest the science majors). He is also a bit hot-headed. "Don Quixote took windmills for giants and sheep for armies; d'Artagnan took every smile for an insult and every look as a provocation."

All of the male characters in the book fight duels at the least incitement (something I noticed while reading The Count of Monte Cristo), drink themselves silly and write love letters to their mistresses. The ladies all bite their lips until blood is drawn and have regular fainting spells. There is not an obvious plot with a sensible climax. Instead it resembles rolling hills, one after another (short rolling hills). This book uses the tactic of making you want the bad guy or the immoral guy or the evil seductress to get through a sticky situation. The little reading I have done on Alexandre Dumas's life leaves me to believe that he was not one of the leading moralists of the 19th century.

The most interesting character (I think) is Milady de Winter (well, that is one of her names). SHE IS EVIL!!! It is interesting to see what tactics she comes up with to do away with men who have gotten on her bad side. Personally I find this kind of character pathetic - really just like a three-year-old having a tantrum most of the time.

Now here is the cherry on top - "It is woman who has ruined us all, and will ruin us all, as long as the world exists." This is the advice given to d'Artagnan from M. Treville when he makes plan to rescue his pseudo-mistress from captivity.

Here is my recommendation - overall the book was fairly entertaining but there were many SLOOOOOOW sections. I give it three *** stars out of five. Something that was very annoying during the book is that Dumas did not keep track of the timeline very well (he was such a prolific writer and was constantly working on numerous books and plays at a time). If you want to try out a book by Alexandre Dumas, I highly suggest the unabridged version of The Count of Monte Cristo.

Sorry my paragraphs don't make much sense. I tried to hurry my thoughts while my son was taking a nap - If I read this nonsense on someone else's blog I would be annoyed although I would probably keep it to myself. ;o)

Now I am reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. My church book club picked it out for May.